Too Fat to Fight Fire!

I was just reading the BBC website about Kevin Ogilvie, the Scottish firefighter who has been sacked for being an enormous fatty:

"Talks are taking place in an attempt to find a breakthrough in the dispute over a Grampian firefighter who was sacked for being overweight. Kevin Ogilvie was dismissed after 22 years of service. Colleagues are balloting for strike action in support of his case. Grampian Fire and Rescue Service management decided he was overweight and not fit for duty."

Apparently he wants his job back, and although he holds his hands up to being rather too lardy to climb a ladder, he feels that he should be offered a more suitable post, presumably one which doesn't involve the use of a chin-strap.

The benevolent chink in my hardened soul actually feels a little sorry for the ruddy-faced fool, although my overriding (and commonsensical) instinct is that Grampian Fire and Rescue Service are probably right to ditch him. It's all very well feeling sorry for fat people because, after all, they are not only cumbersome and sweaty, they are also very very hungry ALL of the time... But you don't want to wake up in the middle of a terrifying inferno and realise that your chances of survival depend on an obese and out-of-breath firefighter negotiating a ladder built to hold half his weight in less than 60 seconds... I'm sure you'll agree that all political correctness would be overthrown in that particular eventuality.

Kevin Ogilvie's legal team argues that yes, perhaps it is madness to put him on the firefighting front line, but that he should be redeployed elsewhere in the service where he won't be required to teeter hopelessly on the protesting limb of a cherry-picker, with enormous globules of sweat clouding his vision as he swipes wildly and fruitlessly at individuals trapped on the latter floors of burning buildings. Instead, he could be assigned to making tea and polishing the fireman's pole... and perhaps also putting any half-finished meals in the oven to keep warm whenever his more slender colleagues are called to an emergency, leaving the firestation lounge in various states of disarray. No doubt someone has to pick up the scattered decks of cards and mop-up the spilled mugs of Bovril, and Kevin Ogilvie would appear to be just the right man for the job.